Andy's Journal

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Help, I need whisky

I need some help!
( From an Oxford resident )

Current Mood: bouncy

Erm I think they missed something
Written in the intro to my loft ladder installation instructions "Do not attempt to install the loft ladder if the instructions are missing" hmm how would I know this :-)

Current Mood: amused

A disaster in DIY

Skip this if you never paint a wall!

<lj-cut text="Masking tape and Dulux kitchen paint">

OK so I painted the walls and the ceiling, it looked good but with a few minor slips where the blue wall paint got on the white coving. So I followed my normal practise and masking taped of the wall, prior to touching up the slips on the coving with white emulsion, this normally results in a perfect clean line between the two colours.......

So I pulled of the masking tape.....

Cue the drums for the perfect finish.......

240

BUGGER,

Now I know. The Dulux range of "Kitchen" "grease and stain resistant" paint has a draw back, that is that it contains a certain amount of oil and does not therefore bond to emulsion undercoats with a greater strength than that of masking tape glue.....

</lj-cut>

Current Mood: amused

Defrag Dos
Anyone know where I can find a Defrag program for DOS ver5?

Please don't send me text messages!
Happy New Year, everyone - but please don't send me an sms to wish me happy new year! It costs a fortune to receive them and I'm nearly bankrupt after the happy Christmas texts came in.

Net access, Skype, email are all on the blink at the moment, so sorry if you don't get new years wishes from me.

("Hang on, Hendybear", you cry "how are you posting this if your net access is down?"

Magic.

Or, alternatively, an expensive text message to someone else who's temporarily pretending to be me.)

Bewildered
If you where to have told me ten years ago that Boris Johnson and Red Ken would be going head to head for the mayor of London I would have laughed my socks of at the sheer comedy of the idea...

What happened to the world?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/6897028.stm

Current Mood: amused

Yippee!
Seasick Steve is playing the zodiac! I have my ticket do you have yours?

http://www.ticketweb.co.uk/user?query=search&category=misc&search=seasick+steve®ion=gb_midlands&beginmonth=07&beginday=1&beginyear=2007

This guy is great!

For a taster try http://www.seasicksteve.com/ or to sea(groan) how I first got interested try http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pNoPNC3ebYQ

Current Mood: bouncy
Current Music: Seasick Steve - The doghouse blues!

Nimrods
A long time ago I ranted about biased reporting by the BBC, in a post on September the 5th 2006. In this post I stated

"If you take a look at the Nimrod from a civilian point of view it should have been replaced 15 years ago, however the end of the cold war meant a drastic cut in military spending, end result is the our armed forces make do with what they have."

Tomorrow night Panorama is reporting on the state of the aircraft in question.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/6716003.stm

I shall be watching this program with interest, note that in my post I did not mention anything specific to the aircraft as I am bound by the official secrets act, I shall be very interested to see what now enters the public domain.

Current Mood: Interested

bugger it!
How is it that I can read peotry so well, and at the same time struggle to write it?

Damm it I even have my muse, I just can't seem to get it to flow.

Current Mood: happy
Current Music: Full Monty Soundtrack

RANT about ASDA
Bloody hell, on my drive back from Oxford to Cam earlier today I got stuck in a tail back, I was travelling down a well maintained A road, in perfect driving conditions, the cause, an ASDA lorry driving at 40 MPH, I was cursing the driver until it was my turn to overtake. When I read on the back of the HGV the following:-

ASDA Safe driving

This vehicle will travel at

40MPH on Single carriageway
50MPH on dual carriageway
60MPH on motorways

For f**ks sake now ALL motorist are going to have their speed dictated by corporate policy.

I can't argue with ASDA's logic if you drive slower, it is safer, however this logic if taken to extremes means that we would all drive at walking pace. Life has risks, we except them, there is a balance to be drawn between risk/common sense. In my opinion ASDA have got this badly wrong... I will not be shopping at ASDA until this hair brained policy has been changed.

Current Mood: pissed off

Invite to the other place.
Open invite to my house in Cam.

I am stuck in Cam from the 2nd until the 16th (with the exception of the 6th when I shall be in Oxford), this is due to a "company strategic review" meaning I can't leave work (yes even on the weekends), and the need to look after crispy and aromatic (the ducks) whilst Trouble is in Thailand.

I even have two spare rooms.

I promise not to be depressed at any guests!

I can offer bribes of....

My company for what it's worth!

Steak at http://www.sheenemill.co.uk/, descbrided by Jez as the best stake he has had in the UK!

I hope Jez is not reading the next one :) a wide selection of Whisky. Some of of which may not be mine.... :)

Current Mood: hopeful

ISP Advice needed
OK I need a new ADSL ISP for Cambridge, mainly because Tiscali keep blocking ports/shaping my bandwidth when I am using P2P.

Any suggestion for an ISP that Doesn't block ports?

Current Mood: sleepy

Unwritten rules of the road Part 2.
Ok So rule one has been covered, by others. Time for rule two.

You come up behind a lorry on an A road, it is night time, you can't see to overtake.......

This is an awkward situation as in order to get the momentum/clearance around the back of the lorry you need to be a few yards back, but from this position you can't see when it is safe to overtake.

WARNING before I give the solution, you must be prepared to trust the lorry driver in front with your life! I often do and I am still alive!

SOLUTION, as you approach the back of the lorry move out far enough so that he can see you in his wing mirror, flash your lights in a friendly fashion, one or two QUICK flashes, or it may be interpreted as pissed of flashing.

Drop back a few yards whilst still staying in "overtaking range", wait, as soon as it is clear for you to overtake, the lorry in front will generally flash his left indicator a couple of times. In my experience you have to go for it at this point, the lorry driver who is by definition more experienced than most car drivers will often allow only the smallest of overtaking spaces. He will have assumed that you are going to trust him or you wouldn’t have flashed.

Note, that I will not deny that I have doubted the lorry drivers sanity on the odd occasion when I have found myself in what I would normally have considered a dangerous situation, bear in mind that he HAS covered more miles than you and he can SEE over the top of a lot of hedges, plus he almost certainly knows the road better than you.

ONCE AGAIN WARNING, the lorry driver will assume that you are in all likelihood a rep he will therefore base his overtaking space judgment on you driving a reasonably quick car i.e at least a 1.8L petrol or 2.0L diesel, I would not recommend trying this for anyone in a slower car.... In fact as I am a chicken I wouldn’t recommend trying this at all as I don't wan't to be held responsible for anyone’s death!

As a side note to the above the Tesco lorry drivers that come out of the Buckingham distribution depot are the salt of the earth and NEVER in two years of driving back to Oxford after my shift had finished on a Friday failed to flash me past. If any one should happen to know any of them pass my thanks on!

Current Mood: awake

Unwritten rules of the road
I was in the office this week with a bunch of my staff, one of whom was bitching about lorry drivers flashing their lights all the time. No one in the office disagreed with him, I was horrified to realise that no one in the office seemed to realise that the light flashes have a purpose.

Maybe I am naive, but I assumed everyone that had driven significant miles on UK roads new the unwritten rules... It turns out I was wrong.

When I am less drunk/tired I will post the rules, I have tried to write them tonight but my explanations aren’t clear enough. As the understanding of these rules can make the difference between being a considerate driver or a major accident, I don't think a half baked explanation would be a good idea!

Life
Bullet points

Love Life:- BIG F**king Grin.

Work Life:- Stressful but on the whole BIG F**king Grin.

Misc not covered by the above:- BIG F**king Grin.

Family :- Hmm will have to reserve Judgment.

In Short HAPPY NEW YEAR ALL. Mine seems to be on balance going well! Of course item 1 may be clouding my views on the rest ;).

Current Mood: happy
Current Music: Sonnet 116 to myself

Coffee
9.30 Bounce Bounce

10.30 Bounce

11.30 Thumping headache

I may need to do something about my Caffeine levels...

Current Mood: tired
Current Music: Acid Jazz Various

Saturday night! People needed!
All,

I am at home in Oxford, I have a Jez in residene and hopefully tomorow night a Roo and Andie as well, this is a cordial invite to all to visit on Saturday night, I have no plan at this point other than to gather friends in a hospitipal location!

Please Help!

Feel free to pass this on to anyone you feel knows Jez/Andie/Roo or myself.

PS It goes without saying that this invite comes with bribes of wine/whisky/cheese/games attached.

Current Mood: happy
Current Music: gypsy kings

Help needed
"regrets I have a few" comes from somewhere, WHERE? To tired to wade through the Google hits.

Crossed wires
My Very ickle second cousin asks my mother for help in creating a fancy dress costume, in this case she wants to become a Christmas pudding, my mother phones my Aunt to enlist her help, and leaves the following message on her answer phone

“Hi Nesta, it’s Magie, Olivia would like to be turned into a Christmas pudding can you help?”

Two days latter my mother rings Nesta again to ask why she hasn’t responded to the answer phone message, to which Nesta replies "I don’t have an answer phone"……..

So the question is if you got the above message on your answer phone how would you react  .

PS as an addition to yesterdays post, this morning me and the hatted one recieved flowers from grateful parents!

Current Mood: amused
Current Music: Elvis